Sprinkle when you tinkle

Moan moan moan. I’ve written before about women and their obsession with the toilet seat being up or down, as if they are the only of the sexes with rights over its position.

The search for non-willy porn

Why can’t I find any porn aimed at me? I mean, right, I’m a bloke, right, and so I’m not interested in men’s willies, am I? Yet, what’s porn? Yep, it’s men’s willies.

What’s that I hear you say? It’s not? You’ve seen some that wasn’t about men’s willies? I bet you haven’t.

Treating life differently

Veggies and Vegans. Loonies we should help or cruel bullies we should lock up?

These people seem to have some mighty skewed ideas when it comes to treating ‘life’.

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs, eh?

Yes, Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs. They confuse me. Yep, they have a fear. A fear of numbers. Well, a fear of the number 666 to be more precise.

Shut the fuck up in cinemas

How are we going to get people to shut the fuck up in cinemas?

I’m not being old here, ok? I go to a cinema, right, and I sit there because I want to watch the film. I don’t want to hear people chattering away on the phone, do I?

The Church rejected Christ’s own family?

The excellent Channel 4 in the UK is not backward with coming forward with ‘anti’ stuff about Jesus Christ. There were loads over the Christmas period last year. In fact, every few months there’s yet another documentary. Indeed, thinking about it there are similar documentaries on BBC Four, and doing the rounds on some of the Discovery type channels.

I don’t think I’m gay

I have a very open mind. Yet it’s also quite closed. I mean, I ‘accept’ a lot of things whilst also having my own way, my own opinion, my own views, my own values.

Because I have no problem talking about sex and sexuality, I was asked today if I was bisexual or had had any non-heterosexual experiences. And the honest truth is that my only sexual experiences have been heterosexual.

But does this in itself make me a non-homosexual?

Fear of mono

Around and about radio enthusiast sites and mass debating pits I notice there continues this horror and fear of mono.

Why are (radio anorak type) people so scared of mono?

History is a lie

History has a funny habit of changing. Now, in a Star Trek world this can be explained away with time travel, temporal distortions and whatever. However, in the real world we have to look for far more down to earth reasons.

The day the muggers won

I was wandering home at just before Midnight when a rather concerned lad in his early 20s asked if I’d seen two hoodies pass me. He was with two other lads who were looking nervously and angrily up and down Orford Road in Walthamstow. I explained I hadn’t and asked what was up. I then had described to me how the lad had just been mugged.

BBC2 Programme for Stoners

Ok, so I keep funny hours. I don’t do the drink and drugs thing, it’s just that my lifestyle means my hours are different to ‘normal’. Hence the reason I was up at 2am having a zap around looking at what was on the air.

I found BBC2. It was 2 in the morning and it was replaying bizarre trippy CBebbies kids programmes. At 2 in the morning? For tiny kids? Yeah right. Ideal for those sitting up with their bong, more likely.

Adverts of the outside

Aren’t people stupid when it comes to advertising? Especially so when it comes to selecting a house or a car. Take a house, for example.

Why I hate old songs

Why do I tend to hate old songs more than anything I have ever hated?

When will they tattoo us?

One of the most frightening things happening in the UK is that more and more local authorities are collecting data on ethnic origin and sexual preference.

Dragnet to the past

You know how you get bored and so start flicking. I don’t mean flicking bogies. Flicking around the TV channels. I had a flicking session and happened upon a very old 1950s or 60s black and white episode of Dragnet. This is an old cop show with no budget. There seemed to be an office, a corridor, and an interview room. Nothing else.

Honest Sex

I’ve long been sympathetic to people who are into strange and unusual sexual practices. I’m not a swinger, mainly because I’m a bit of a private person and I suppose in that respect a little shy. (I’m very self conscious about my willy and don’t really want people looking at it beyond my current sexual partner. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I think.)

Loud birds

Cor blimey. How is a man supposed to sleep around here, eh? That big moon thing keeps shining brightly. Ok, so it’s my fault for sleeping without any curtains drawn (or in my case, blinds closed – what are curtains for?), but it seems far more natural to sleep with the natural light and dark coming in from outside. So, recently that moon has been beaming straight in and onto my face. It’s like waking up with a burglar’s torch shining in your face.

Loyalty, Friendship and Water

To different people, the same word will have different meanings.

Weird Poisoned People

Why are some people weird? It’s usually purely down to the poisons they either unknowingly or knowingly ingest.

The Flies

They tell me odd things are happening. It’s true that birds have been singing all through the night where once they’d sing from dawn. The phrase ‘dawn chorus’ is for the birds. Or was.